"Gendelicious!" is Lazlo's feature project. Watch the progress here!

All materials registered with the Writer's Guild of America.
 

The Pitch
 

"GendeLicious!" is a spectacular Drag King and Genderqueer club night in Manhattan. Meet the patrons: Mike, the 35-ish bookstore manager, and his wife, Nan, a SOHO art buyer - a straight hipster couple with a twist: Mike happens to have been born female; as was Bobby, their gay male friend; and Nathan, the struggling NYU student. Mo, the magnetic Drag King and her troupe, make GendeLicious! the place to be, with or without the help of Randall, the Eeyor-like club owner.

This movie explores their lives and loves, joys and struggles, before, during and after the fabulous celebration called "GendeLicious!"

Told in a mixed media of reality, fantasy and fun-and-sexy musical numbers "GendeLicious!" will be at the forefront of the next wave of stories about alternative cultures and lifestyles. What successful movies and television like "Queer as Folk," "Metrosexuality" and "But I'm a Cheerleader" and many others, have done for the representation of gay and lesbian life, "GendeLicious!" will do for the representation of transgender and genderqueer lives. Centering "GendeLicious!" on an electrifying party, while moving back and forth through the events leading up to and following each evening will give audiences a chance to experience transgendered, queer and not-so-queer culture. Finally, (and perhaps most importantly) "GendeLicious!" will be among the first to show transgendered people not through tragic events (like "Boy's Don't Cry" or "The Soldier' Girl") but through the hot, hip and humorous moments of our lives. This light and playful touch will give the viewing public the chance to see that we face many of the same issues they do, simply filtered through a transgender colored lens.

 

 The Current Treatment
 

It's Saturday afternoon and a barely 20-something BICYCLIST wearing an enormous and obviously fake handlebar mustache is zipping around San Francisco on a silver BMX bicycle, guerilla papering the city with GENDELICIOUS! Fliers. S/he is being reckless, wearing headphones, and what s/he is listening to is our soundtrack. It is a bumpin' track and keeps his/her legs pumping from pole to bulletin board to shop window, to outstretched hand. Finally, a disgruntled SHOPKEEPER grabs up one of the offending fliers. What is this?! It's GENDELICIOUS!

Cut to a close up shot of the poster and theme music - the song that is been on his/her headphones. Opening credits, time lapse of the day in the bar, from Randall groggy at noon taking in the beer kegs through the day to the crowded dance floor, etc.

At the KandyBar, Head Drag King MAUREEN (MO) is meeting with RANDALL, the bar owner, firming up the plans for that night, convincing him for the 17th time that yes, there really is such a thing as a Drag KING (first flashes of her troupe performing?) and her troupe has a big following, and yes, they are all responsible adults who won't hurt the brand new felt on his pool table. Nervously, Randall reaches behind the bar for the well brandy, adding a healthy shot to his coffee cup. Mo tries to get him to commit to a sound check time.

BOBBY is finishing up a workout at his Castro gym. A sexy techno music track thumps into him and he's being seriously cruised. A too beautiful and pumped up guy appears to spot for him on the bench press and Bobby has no choice but to stare up into his highly visible bulge. The eye contact and hand brushing is intense. At the end of the set, Bobby nervously follows the muscle man into the locker room. The guy strips down, glancing again and again at Bobby. Wanting but not knowing how to navigate his 'special circumstances,' Bobby grabs his bag and jams out.

On the sidewalk, Bobby calls MIKE on his cell phone - how is he ever going to get a date with a gay man when he doesn't have a dick? Mike turns to NAN, his wife, sitting across from him at the table and mouths "Bobby," and Nan mouths back "Man trouble?" Mike nods and tries to calm Bobby down, reminding him that at least he doesn't have to deal with 'Dyke Drama' anymore. Nan sticks out her tongue and says 'Tell him to come out tonight - we'll find him somebody." Mike has forgotten GENDELICIOUS! And he's not sure he wants to go. Nan shows him a joint she has in her purse. He smiles at his sexy sweetheart and tells Bobby. As he hangs up the phone, Nan teases, "Dyke Drama, huh," biting his ear to half hearted protests. "Good thing I was always one of those horrible bisexuals, or I might give you a lot more to complain about." Mike and Nan remember the first time Nan's queer hang out group, THE LADIES WHO LUNCH, took up the subject of Mike not being a woman anymore.

Back to the bicyclist on the BMX spewing fliers - s/he zips by Bobby on the phone and narrowly misses NATHAN, loaded down with laptop, coffee and books. He picks up a flier: "A night for Trannies, Genderfuckers, Drag Kings, and Queens, Dykes, Fags, Queers and Freaks of All Kinds." He reads each label over and over. Which one is his? What is he REALLY? He remembers that morning, talking to the nurse at his doctor's office on the phone. Can she tell him one more time the steps for shooting the testosterone? He knows he's had the doctor do it 4 times already, and no, he doesn't want to come in to have it done a fifth, but could she please tell him again? She puts him on hold several times to answer other calls until he finally relinquishes the line. He looks at the syringe, the bottle of testosterone, the needle. He reads the pamphlet on the side effects of testosterone for the umpteenth time: hair growth, deepening voice, fat redistribution and muscle growth. He looks in the mirror and watches himself morph into an Incredible Hulk. Back in the present, Nathan looks at the GENDELICIOUS flier and the picture of the boyish but obviously female drag king on it. He's just not sure. He gets on his bus to go home.

That evening: Nan, Mike, and their (Mike's) 13-year-old daughter, SYDNEY are finishing dinner. Nan is again convincing Mike to go out. Mike tries to use Sydney as an excuse to stay in, but she isn't having any. She wants them out of the house so she can spend the evening logged in to her "teens of queers" chat room and continue her discussion about how much easier and cooler it was to have dyke parents than "straight" ones. They excuse her from the table to go "do her homework," and Nan seduces Mike into the shower with her, as a prelude to going out to. The incentive works. In the bathroom she lights the joint and drops her clothes to the floor.

Upstairs Sydney logs on and enters her chat room. At the same time, Nathan is signing on to his Yahoo account. As he goes through his email, not finding anything to help him with his fears, he is Instant Messaged by his tranny-girl pal Jeanine, wanting to know what he is wearing to GENDELICIOUS! He, too, tries to back out, but she won't let him. They make plans to meet.

Back at KandyBar, Mo and the other DRAG KINGS are sound checking. They perform bits of a group number in their normal clothing, looking a bit like odd solid gold dancers. Randall is skeptical, trying not to worry. But the bar phone is ringing steadily about the evening.

As the Kings rehearse, Bobby is at home, still smarting over the gym, and still not sure about going out that night. Perhaps he'd rather stay home, eat ice cream and jack off. He roots out his porn collection and heads to the fridge, but just as he pulls the Ben and Jerry's out of the freezer, he catches sight of the last picture of himself before his transition, taped to the fridge door: "Roberta," a very uncomfortable looking 'female' person. He turns away from the fridge and catches a glimpse of himself in the kitchen window. He's not Roberta any more. He's a hot guy named Bobby. He remembers the conversation with Nan and Mike and imagines himself dancing at the club - all right. He'll go out.

GENDELICIOUS! is in full effect! The DRAG QUEEN DJ is pounding the speakers; the wildly gendered crowd of Trannies and Gender/Queer Club Kids are dancing to a serious beat. The BMX is there, doing fancy tricks on his/her bicycle in the middle of the floor.

"Backstage" in the cramped offices of KandyBar the Kings are hurrying into drag, putting on Vegas suits, Shitkicker clothes, and Justin Timberlake drag, pasting and painting on whiskers and sideburns.

Mike and Nan are at a table, blissed out from pot and sex. Bobby arrives on his motorcycle. Men cruise him on his way into the club, and he is torn between gratification and worry. He plunks himself down at Nan and Mike's table and Nan tells him any man would be a fool to reject him. He is flattered but rueful.

Nathan and Jeanine also arrive, and, seeing the lights come up on stage, Jeanine pushes them through the crowd up toward it, knowing the show is about to start.

The Drag Kings hit the stage! Mo MC's: "Cheers, all you Fabulous Queers!!!!. "Welcome to the first ever club night that dares to shout out "FUCK GENDER!!!!! Yeah! Fuck whichever genders you like!" The transformed Kings take over the stage and sing BLUR'S "BOYS AND GIRLS." The performance is hot and tight and the Kings are cute as hell. The crowd explodes!

And the credits roll.

 

Watch this space for the future of Gendelicious!
 

 If you'd like to help this project come to fruition - with your talent, your expertise or your financial support, please do not hesitate to contact me!